A Coffee A Day...
This week Jittery Jill gets bug eyed about certain medicinal uses of coffee. Now, I'm
all for self medicating, but I do draw the line when it comes to me bottom, but thats another story.
Still, her article got me thinking, and yes, once in a while I do think. I wondered if coffee really is good for you?
I like its taste, I like its smell, and I do so enjoy the kick that caffeine gives me in the morning and afternoon, but
health properties?
I've said it here before, coffee IS good for you, least I think so, but what's the medical
world got to say about it? Turns out there is plenty of research out there, whether it is really an indication of
the medicinal properties of coffee is still somewhat debatable. Right, so lets get to the good stuff. I'm sure you'll
be as surprised as I was.
There is some indication that coffee is a fabulous antioxidant. Way up there in its
antioxidant properties. Coffee helps in the performance of tasks requiring sustained attention, sorta like putting
together an issue of Coffee Club Online. Even after lunch, at night or even when you have a cold, coffee with help
your attention span.
There is research that indicates coffee can lesson your chance of developing Parkinson's
Disease. If your predisposed to this disease, drinking coffee will give you a 2 to 3 times better chance of not
developing Parkinson's. So drink up.
Some research indicates that coffee could help prevent gallstones. Seems that drinking 4
cups of coffee a day can decrease your chance of making a gallstone by 40%. I for one think that's a really big
number. It could be the difference between having a gallstone and not having a gallstone.
Here's something cool, coffee grounds remove copper and lead from tap water. Using a coffee
maker means that your filtering out these heavy metals while your coffee is brewing, that has to be worth something.
Coffee might actually filter other metals too, like magnesium and cadmium, so filler up for best results.
Coffee is a cancer fighter. It improves memory, attention and coordination. It is not addictive,
nothing like cocaine, amphetamines and caffeine. It tastes good, it smells great, it cleans your drains, it makes a
great gift. It's a bird, it's a plane, no...it's coffee! Umm...yah. So there you go. In a nut shell, or in a mug,
coffee gives you many pleasures and many benefits. Like most things, take this with a grain of salt. No one is
really sure what the hell is going on, especially your humble narrator, Jack.
To good health, have a cup for me. Chausito.
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That Coffee Clean Feeling
Jill was reading an article recently about weird deaths. Spontaneous combustion, freak
accidents, etc., etc. But then she came across a little blurb about a woman who had died from giving herself a
coffee enema. Apparently, she had mixed the coffee so strongly that it had killed her. Now I've had my fair
share of strong cups of joe, but I've never had the urge to pump one up my ass. Which leads Jill to the urgent
question: "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?"
No, seriously! Can anybody clue me in here? Did she think it was healthful to squirt
Nescafe up her butt? Was it for kinky kicks? Why oh why would anyone do something so dumb? Are people just
stupid? Yes, sadly, I think so, for the most part. Oh, there is that two percent of the populace that are worth
saving in the event of a major flood or catastrophe, and you can guarantee that two percent will not be plugging
frothy beverages up their buttholes.
It's always been my understanding that enemas are no picnic, but hey, some people like
holding water up their bums. They're freaks, but to each his own. But coffee? The most sacred of all drinks?
Is nothing sacred?
Jill was greatly saddened by this. First of all, there is the great puzzlement over the desire to put anything
in one's butt. Jill has never been a big fan of the anal action, but once again, to each his own. Then there
is the whole enema thing. Have you ever seen one of these puppies? There's about seventy five feet of tubing
that goes UP YOUR ASS! I exaggerate of course, but I'm sure it feels that way.
Then you squirt some kind of saline stuff up there and HOLD IT IN, until you can't stands
it no more, and then a liquid fountain of shit falls out of your rectum, leaving you allegedly squeaky clean on
the inside. Good Lord! How can that be fun? And then to put coffee, everyone's favorite morning pick-me-up,
into the bag instead of water...Jill hates to say this, but perhaps it is no great loss that this woman is no
longer with us.
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