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Coffee Club Remote
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Service First
A Day in Stratford - Part One.
Perhaps it was the heady company of the Bitter Bean, who never accompanies Jack
and Jill on their couch trips. Perhaps it was the post holiday fervor. Perhaps it was that devil may
care daring do attitude which springs so naturally to the denizens of the Coffee Club.
Regardless, it was a temporary madness that descended upon us one day last week.
Our usual two cups downed, the cake plate licked clean, we retired to Jill's humble abode wherein we
consumed ridiculous amounts of chocolate and an entire pan of brownies, washed down with pot after pot of
a sweet dark Yemen roast. Jill brews in a Bodum, and despite Jack's wimpy protestations, Jill put in seven
to nine heaping tablespoons of fresh ground goodness into every pot we drank.
The evening deteriorated into a giggling, sweating, name calling fest which left us
limp and twitching. Jack vainly commanded Jill to crawl about the apartment, but those who know Jill know
that she is not a one to be commanded. The Bitter Bean whimpered and moaned that his bones hurt, but
sympathetic friends that we are, we alternately ignored and insulted him for being a big fat wussy.
The night was a non stop orgiastic feast of caffeine and cocoa, a most unholy
combination. Particularly for Jack, who we well know is sensitive to sugar of any kind. He was a spun and
gibbering Mr. Hyde, clutching his head and shrieking. Jill firmly believes that we came damn near to
poisoning ourselves with our decadence, and she suffered a wretched caffeine withdrawal headache for three
days after. And the memory of Jack repeatedly asking her to crawl is one that will not soon be forgotten.
The coffee orgy is a phenomenon that will most likely never be repeated without
the corruptive influence of the intrepid Bitter Bean, a fellow who is always challenging the acceptable
limits of all conventions.
One lesson that we did learn from our night of debauchery is that in Coffee Club,
once you're in, you're in. No one here gets out alive. Or at least not without a tummy ache of gargantuan
proportions.
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