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Jill's Zine Reviews
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Jills Rating System:
| Nescafe................ | Don't bother. Not even worth spilling your latte on.
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| House Blend......... | Run of the mill. Slightly interesting, neither fantastic nor crappy.
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| Moccacinno........... | Fluffy eye candy. Yummy, clever and achingly hip.
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| Espresso.............. | Beautifully put together. Sweet, to the point, not stuffed with superfluous ads and razor
thin bimbos. Informative and relevant.
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Reader's Digest
Nope, Jill's not kidding. You've all read it, I know you have. Your mom or your
grandmother or your crazy aunt Irene had a subscription. They're insidious, they grow like mould. Just what
is this publication all about, anyhow? With its weird Christian overtones, misaligned military humour and true
stories Reader's Digest always made Jill feel vaguely uncomfortable.
As a wee one, Jill would stumble across the inevitable issue on the back of the toilet
tank, or tucked into the knitting rack. She would puzzle for hours over the unfunny jokes, the strange stories
of children lost in the ice or attacked by bears that were somehow meant to be inspirational. But Jill was never
inspired by the Reader's Digest. Instead, she was afraid.
Why were all the grown ups around her reading such drivel? Where did the Reader's Digest
come from ? You can't buy it in the store, can you? Does it just drift through the air like spores and reproduce
in musty attics and sewing baskets? Why, oh, why do they condense great stories into tiny little snippets of
unreadable pap and sell it to unsuspecting grannies in sets of tacky fake leather covered tomes covered in cheap
embossing? Who are these people? How can they be stopped?
Jill gives Reader's Digest a cold half drunk coffee that has
been left in a bus shelter by questionable persons, and has now developed an odd white film that floats sickly on
the top of the liquid like a cloud of cold semen.
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