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Coffee In Your Panties
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Now there are those among you that might argue that Zeller's is a den of crap. I agree.
A large, crowded, brightly lit bazaar of poorly made crap. But occasionally, one finds a nugget of hipness hidden
in the teetering mounds of ill fitting dung.
Jill was the proud recipient of a number of Zeller's gift certificates over the holiday
season, and set off immediately to cash them in. Jill purchased some fancy socks, some fancy pajamas, and then
waded into the underwear department in search of some fancy panties.
Jill would like to put forth this question to all her monkeys: Why do women surrender to the lure of the granny
underwear? Is this akin to men in their late thirties who suddenly don track suits and quit shaving?
Jill understands that the grannies are comfy, but they come up to your tits, ladies, and are
created from the most unflattering shades of brown and creme satin. Every girl has a pair of baggy undies that she
keeps in reserve for ‘that time of the month' but perhaps that's because they don't care if the ole baggies get a
little messy. Enough!
All the boys are screaming right now. We just don't want to know. Jill will move on in a
moment, after she has exhorted her fellow hot mamas to never give in. Leave those grannies on the rack. Don't
succumb to the siren song of the big ass panties.
So Jill dug through the racks of big uglies in search of a pair of panties that would be both
cute and comfy. She was just about to give up all hope when she came across a matching camisole and panty set that
were tres divine. Now for those of you who don't know what a camisole is, it's a rather complicated version of an
undershirt. There. Who says you don't learn something every day?
Jill was overjoyed when she happened upon these teeny articles of femininity, for depicted
there on the fabric were dainty little cups of coffee, kitschily rendered handfuls of espresso beans, and charming
little spoons. It's a kaffee klatsch in my pants, ladies and gentlemen!
Jill had just enough gift certificates to purchase this matching set, and is wearing them right now, boys and girls,
comfy cotton coffee undies.
So to sum up, you can never have too much coffee, even in your pants, and though Zeller's
is a crapfest, if you dig deep enough, you just might find some panty treasure.
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