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August 25, 2000
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Now Bi-Weekly
Yay! One more week to read the latest issue!
Yup, you heard right. Coffee Club is now Bi-Weekly. We'll be coming to you twice a month.
We know
it's hard getting in a whole issue of Coffee Club, and we do not want you to miss a single word.
So grab a cup, relax, and read at your leisure.
Did You Miss Anything?
Did u blink? Seems like the week just flew by and when you went back to
finish reading that great article at Coffee Club, you find it's not there anymore.
Is it really Friday already? Yup, but don't dispair, cause that is what
the Coffee Club Archive is for. Just click the button in the menu.
The archive contains ALL the issues so far, plus the list of This Weeks coffee
house. Hopefully, you will find what your looking for there. If your new to Coffee Club, you have
plenty of catching up to do.
Enjoy!
Subscribe Today
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when a new issue is HOT off the presses.
Don't get left behind. Don't let your subscribed friends read Coffee Club Online before you do, what
a waste that would be, huh?
So, what are you waiting for? Click subscribe. It's easy, it's quick and it's
at the bottom of the menu, right under Email. Do it today!
Coffee Club Comic
Coffee Club brings you Part 2 of a continuing graphic adventure.
Follow weekly a traveler in No Space, as he faces perils and meets danger head on with no holds
barred reckless abandon.
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The Druggy In Me
Yes, I drink a lot of coffee. I drink it in the morning and in the afternoon,
usually before 8pm. I drink it just about everyday. Perhaps, compared to some, I'm not too far gone.
Besides it's only 2 to 4 cups a day. Who's that gonna hurt?
I am Jack's pounding head. Me, that's who! Yup, I get the dreaded coffee drinkers
headache. The only cure seems to be coffee. Which, if you've been paying attention, is alright with me.
I have my coffee and I'm feeling good. Yay!
You ever notice how run down coffee can make you feel? You're out with friends and
you stop in a coffee shop. You have a cup and you're talking and talking, then you get another and everything's
great. An hour later you're really wasted. Maybe the excitement of the day wore you down?
I am Jack's clinical research. I have the answers for you coffee monkeys out
there. The problem seems to be that caffeine lowers the epinephrine levels in your brain. What's
epinephrine you ask? It's what your brain uses for neural activity, i.e. thinking.
Alzheimer patients have low epinephrine levels. Depressives also show low
levels of epinephrine. Don't let this discourage you though, because coffee only temporarily lowers
these levels. In healthy people, the brain will replenish the epinephrine. Till it does though, don't
work on anything mentally strenuous, ya monkey!
I am Jack's burning question. Can anything be done? Maybe. Jack has come
across a very interesting amino acid called L-Phenylalanine. It's a naturally occurring protein
found in the proteins that you usually eat. Like meat for example.
L-Phenylalanine is converted directly into epinephrine by the human body.
In theory, if you where to ingest L-Phenylalanine prior to drinking your two cups of coffee, you
should be able to cancel some of the epinephrine depleting effects of coffee.
I am Jack's disappointment. Does it work? Beats me. L-Phenylalanine is not
one of the amino acids that the Canadian government allows here in Canada, but the Caffiend and
Pajavagirl are off to New York city, and they will be bringing Jack a bottle. Yay!
Yes. I drink a lot of coffee. I drink it everyday. Sometimes it gets me high,
and then I crash and burn. Jack will tell you if L-Phenylalanine changes anything. If it does, you can
bet that I'll be drinking more coffee and enjoying it too! Then again, I'd drink it anyways.
Sunday afternoon
Slipper wearing Britcom watching
Tea drinking wussy
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Random Musings Of Mild Misanthropy
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I offer the following for your consideration, kind reader...
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worry about all that cream cooling down your Java!
Shown here, the
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Farewell until next time, gentle reader. Do come back again and feel
free to send me your comments, suggestions, stories, whatever. Gotta go, the
coffee's on.
Edward Pants, Esq.
In life's coffee bag, be the bitter bean.
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Bags To The Lot Of Ya!
I haven't been fucked like that since grade school. And indeed, I have
not, as I curl into a ball, clutching my various parts, nursing my sex related injuries
(byproduct of consensual adult activities, thank you very much) and craving a soothing cup of tea.
TEA you shriek. Blasphemy!
But no, as Jack and myself puzzled earlier this week. Many hard core
coffee drinkers often fancy a hot cuppa, but tea drinkers scorn bitterly the Bean.
And why,
too, is it that so many tea drinker are also fans of Britcoms and enjoy unequivocally
a Sunday afternoon?
Such a gulf, a chasm, twixt them and us. Though a cup of ginger tea
will calm a ravaged cake stuffed gut, or chamomile soothe a frazzled mind, a cup of coffee will
send a tea drinker bolting out the door, heaping abuse upon your consternated head. And why, oh
why, are we segregated thus?
Is it that tea drinkers are a horde of sad sacked wusses? Is it that
coffee drinkers are high strung stuck up prigs? Can't we all just get along? And of course, does Jill
really care at all?
J.J.-"So who would you have coffee with?"
C.P.J."I'd have coffee with King Kong."
J.J.-"And what kind of coffee would King Kong drink?"
C.P.J-"Well, you see, he'd have a large industrial size cup, but I
think he'd surprise you in his choice of flavor. A delicate Euro Mild, with cream, perhaps,
but no sugar."
J.J.-"He's a pervert you know."
C.P.J-"Who? King Kong?"
J.J.-"Yeah, they had to edit out the scene where he felt up
Fay Wray. He had his big ape finger in there between her legs messing around and they had to
cut that scene out. "
C.P.J-"He's not a pervert, he's just a guy."
J.J.-"So you're saying that man is synonymous with pervert?"
C.P.J-"No, no, he's a primitive man with primitive urges, and no
sense of decorum. Anyhow, he's cool. Big ass ape shot down by planes. I'm having coffee with him."
J.J.-"Yeah, well I'm hitting the couches with Godzilla. Sure, he's a
reptile, but at least he's not a pervert."
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