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Jill's Zine Reviews
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Jills Rating System:
| Nescafe................ | Don't bother. Not even worth spilling your latte on.
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| House Blend......... | Run of the mill. Slightly interesting, neither fantastic nor crappy.
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| Moccacinno........... | Fluffy eye candy. Yummy, clever and achingly hip.
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| Espresso.............. | Beautifully put together. Sweet, to the point, not stuffed with superfluous ads and razor
thin bimbos. Informative and relevant.
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DISCLAIMER
First off, Jill would like to say in her defense that she did not buy the following magazines, nor
would she ever pay money for them, nor would she ever read them except to bring you, most delicious readers, the honest
truth about these publications.
Jill does not watch daytime TV, nor night time TV come to think of it, and
knows very little about talk shows, and their respective hostesses.
That said, Jill is pleased to bring you her take on the great debate.
OPRAH vs. ROSIE
O - The Oprah Magazine
Ah, would that the big O stood for orgasm. That would be a mag that Jill could get on board
with. Sadly, this magazine is rather like a magalogue, except it's for a person and not a product. But wait-isn't
Oprah the product? Curious. This creation of a brand out of a person. Like Martha Stewart.
Let Jill just say that
this is a thick glossy number, from which it is obvious that no expense was spared. There are inspirational pull
out calendars, and a topic every month. Like freeing your mind, or focusing your spirit, or some such crap. There's
a column from Oprah's pet quack psychologist and articles on reaching your personal potential, or some such crap.
Jill would like to give you more details, but she just couldn't read a lot of this tripe.
The whole magazine is like
a motivational seminar. Jill hates motivational seminars. Jill is motivated by three things only: sex, chocolate,
and sex. It isn't difficult to attain one's optimum potential when one is such a down to earth girl as Jill is. Jill
should write her own damn magazine. J for Jill. It will feature pull out calendars with a different masturbation
fantasy for every day.
Anyhow, O. Whatever. If you watch Oprah, and for god sake, I hope you don't, you'll surely enjoy this publication.
As near as I can discern, it's exactly like the program. (Not that Jill would know.)
Jill gives Oprah's a Nescafe.
Rosie
Now we all know the deal on this. McCall's was going under so they begged moola out of Rosie,
thus appointing her Editor-in-Chief. Rosie graciously points out in the first issue that she has no idea how to edit
anything, she can't even spell, and is grateful to all the literary people on staff
who will cover her ass. Rosie's magazine is like Oprah's in that it seems to be exactly like her show (not that
Jill would know).
This magazine is reminiscent of every Erma Bombeck book that Jill's mom had when Jill was a kid.
Heart warming, domestic goddess type stuff. There are a few columns concerning children that need to be adopted,
which Jill actually thought was pretty cool. There are lingerie advertisements which feature realistically sized
models and recipes that don't count calories. Unlike O, Rosie's shtick seems to be self love instead of self improvement.
Again, Rosie has nothing in it that Jill would be interested in, but she actually managed to
read it cover to cover.
Compared to O, it was infinitely more reader friendly and funny. However, this magazine is also nothing to write home about.
Jill gives Rosie a Nescafe, but would also like to say that she
hands down kicks Oprah's butt in the magazine department.
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